Book Review: The Pocket Parent

By Gail Reichlin and Caroline Winkler

This book is geared towards parents of children ages 2 to 5.

This is a great handbook. There are hundreds of fast answers to common behavior problems right at your fingertips. You can choose to read it straight through or go directly to the problem that youre having at the moment.

The book is set up so that each entry has some quick on the spot answers right at the beginning. Then, the problem is then explained more in depth and personal anecdotes and examples are given. The tone is never condescending or belittling. It is instead helpful and humorous.

This book focuses more on positive parenting than harsh discipline, but all the ideas Ive given a try have worked wonderfully. It really is practical, common sense advice.

How to take a shower with your newborn, and later, your toddler.

For a newborn, you'll want to get a tub or bath chair (bath chair example: http://www.target.com/Summer-Infant-Deluxe-Baby-Bather/dp/B000GEFE42) that has good support so that you can let the baby sit in there without constantly adjusting her. Fill the water up so that it covers her bottom and legs and put a warm wash rag on her stomach. If youre using a tub, you'll want to point the head of the tub towards the shower curtain. If youre using a bath chair you'll want to be aware of the water level and let some water out from time to time. Point the shower head slightly towards the wall. Be sure to face forward so that you are constantly looking at the baby in case she wiggles out of her spot. After you are clean, you can either sit down in the tub, sit on the edge of the tub, or, if youre brave, pick your baby up to wash her. Your baby will probably not want to take an hour long shower, so wash everyone up first and if the baby is still soaking happily, relax away.

With a toddler you can do the same thing, but with a bath ring: http://www.amazon.com/Juvenile-Solutions-Thermobaby-Bath-Ring/dp/B000ILEOVC. Put the bath ring as far back as you can get it. Add some toys. Again, be aware of the water level and let a bit of water out every now and then . Toddlers are ususally more than happy to hang out in the tub so your shower wont have to be as rushed as it might have been when she was a baby.

You can continue to shower with your small child for as long as you feel comfortable. It's a great way to save time, water and energy. Ive also found that it's a great bonding time for mom and baby.

Friendship after baby.

When I got pregnant with my son I was barely 20. I had been in a short lived partying stage where I went out every night of the week and arrived at school and work looking, and feeling, a mess. I found out I was pregnant in June; but before I found out things were already changing. I felt extremely tired so I didn't go out as much. When I did go out, I got home at a decent hour. The friends I had at the time were not really close. Acquaintances I guess. We got along well and had fun together but it wasn't that deep. As soon as I revealed I was pregnant, they started pulling away. I forgave them and started staying home. What fun is a pregnant girl at a party? I had to be responsible and they weren't ready to. I haven't talked to any of them since.

Fast forward 5 years. In this story Im 25. I have a decent job that Ive been at for 3 years. Ive made friends; friends much closer than my former party buddies. I actually talk to these people about my life and we discuss each other's problems and hopes. I start dating one of them. We get pregnant. Exciting! I feel like this time I have good friends who aren't flakes and will stick around. While pregnant everyone is happy for us and says they want to be part of the baby's life. Promises of visits and babysitting abound.

I had my daughter two months ago. I only hear from one friend on a regular basis and she's not from work.

What is it about having children that puts people off? Some of these people have children of their own... surely they know how lonely you can get being home alone with small children all day. Sleep deprived and hormonal, I feel like my friends don't care.

My situation is not unique. I know several moms (and dads) who have had the same thing happen. I think I may have done it to one of my friends in the past. Do we feel that when our friends have children they are somehow changed for the worse? Or are we staying away because of some assumed feeling of consideration? "Maybe the new parents are tired and don't want visitors... I wont bother them, I'll let them call when they are ready."

Well don't. Don't wait to call. Next time one of your friends has a baby make sure you contact them. If they are too tired, they will say so. Please don't leave them alone.

Book Review: Where's Daddy?How Divorced, Single, and Widowed Mothers Can Provide What's Missing When Dad's Missing.

By Claudette Wassil-Grimm

The subtext should read: How Divorced,Single, and Widowed Mothers Can Excuse the Irresponsible Behavior of Their Ex's and Coddle Them Even Though They Want Nothing To Do With Their Children. I was extremely surprised that a woman wrote this.

Judging this book by it's cover, you would think that it would tell you how to raise your children without their father. This is not the case. The author repeatedly recommends keeping the child's father in their life no matter what they've done or how they are acting. In not so many words, she asserts that it is perfectly OK if your children's father continually flakes out on them and disappears for long periods of time. You should let him come back and intrude into their lives whenever he wants... whether he's been gone for 4 months or 4 years.

The author also gives a list of excuses for why (some) men are horrible fathers when they aren't in a relationship with the mother of their children. This is just my opinion, but dead beat fathers don't need to be excused. They need to step up or get the hell out of their kid's lives and stop damaging them by being so damn selfish. Most women aren't happy about being single mothers and the last thing a single mother wants to read is how to exempt her ex from any wrongdoing. AND if a single mother wanted to or could keep her child's father in the picture, then she wouldn't need this book would she?

There is a section in this book about unwed, single mothers. It talks about teenagers. Because we all know that no one over the age of 17 is a single mother. Everyone gets married by the time they are 18 and if they have children and are single it's because they are divorced or widowed. Is this author being serious? I found myself wondering if this book was some kind of satire at times.

The only section that actually is helpful to anyone at all is the section for widowed mothers. If you are a widowed mother, this book has some pretty good advice for you.

If you are at all angry, bitter, sad or have any kind of emotion towards your situation as a single mother, Do NOT read this book. Don't buy it. Don't check it out of the library. Just don't. Please.

In fact, even if you feel perfectly fine about your situation, please don't give this idiot any of your money.

They call it love, and I get plenty of it.

What a sap I have become. I clearly recall being a horrid bitch prior to having my son and maybe for sometime after. I had plenty of love for him, but everyone else got the cold shoulder.

This feeling is new to me, so I'm still fighting back the gag reflex as I find myself being nice to others and smiling a lot. This over zealous happiness is something I used to make fun of people for. I thought nobody could really be that happy. Well, I was wrong.